dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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