You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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