My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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