I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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