I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Then you guys just all showered together...?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize