waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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