I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
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he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
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Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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