Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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