Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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