That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
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So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
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I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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