I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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