So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize