Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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