Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize