Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize