Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
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im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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