At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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