I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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