Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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