I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
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btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
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i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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