Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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