if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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