I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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