Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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