I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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