i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
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Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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