Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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