apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize