I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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