i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize