I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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