someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize