Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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