Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize