I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
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running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
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I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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