he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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