It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize