i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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