how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
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You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
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There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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