Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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