you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize