Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize