five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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