I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
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Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
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That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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