I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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