why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize