I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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