I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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