Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize