I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize